Fat Neck Glenn (aka "Fattie G") was fired today, approximately 6 hours after signing his new hire paperwork. The Hey Jerk team is stunned at this development as he reportedly beat out renowned local talent, Ringwald Chase, DDS for the position.
Reports are swirling that Dr. Glenn was let go due to inappropriate activities with a mouse. Deputies called to the office park were unable to determine whether said activities were had with a computer mouse or Microtus pennsylvanicus. Small gray hairs found at the scene of the crime are being analyzed in hopes that they will provide more detail on these horrendous allegations.
Due to the pending investigation, police have not yet actually charged Fattie G with a crime. Sources say "beastiality" and the oft-mentioned but infrequently used "lewd acts with office supplies and/or technical accessories" are both on the table.
Stay tuned for updates on this breaking news story.
1 comment:
I was fired without cause.
This isn't over.
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