Feathers the Clown Set on Fire; Deceased

Feathers the Clown has been killed.

Feathers' arrival scared many of HJ "staffers" to the point that he only lasted 4 minutes on "campus".

He was then doused with lighter fluid while sitting in his cubicle on the west wing of the 77th floor, and lit on fire when Oscar Rainbow flicked the remains of his cigarette in his general facility.

The clown was immediately reduced to nothing more than a small globule.

So long, Feathers. The ride was real.

- Staff Correspondent Terry Terrance