Potatoman found deceased in front of popular bowling alley

According to several eyewitness reports, a potatoman has been found deceased outside Mo's Bowling & Spaghetti Palace. The popular entertainment venue, which hosted the Refrigerator Box Hugging Southeast Regionals from 1998-2007, just served its 400th customer named Dale Thursday.

"I want to make it clear that Mo's does not and has not ever discriminated against potatomen or potatowomen. This was an unfortunate and isolated incident. That potatoman was around age 13 days and had several bites taken out of him and he just couldn't pull through," said Blump City police chief Rico Yetz Jr.

The alley's owner, Kenneth Keean, who is running on a ticket with an ice cube in next month's Blump City mayoral race, said the potatoman's hat, Carlton, will be eaten by Linda Kibbits on June 17th.