Being Told You Look Like Rodney Dangerfield: The 12 Step Recovery Process

Once someone is told they resemble Rodney Dangerfield, following the 12 steps is the recommended method of regaining one's life.

*Note - it is impossible to regain one's life after being told they resemble Rodney Dangerfield.




1. Get told you resemble Rodney Dangerfield
2. Look at ground, consider suicide
3. Mutter thoughtless ramblings to yourself
4. Call Reggie Beefman for a Dangerfield consult
5. Drive to Beefman's house, assassinate him, leave photo of Rodney Dangerfield behind
6. Call police, report Beefman's demise, flee to China
7. Upon landing in Hong Kong, cry hysterically for just north of two hours before hailing cab
8. When you reach hotel, immediately watch Rocky 5 in its entirety
9. Look in the mirror, repeat "I am not Rodney Dangerfield" 100 times over (*at a minimum)
10. Take a shower, start to get a hold of your life
11. After shower, look in mirror again, realize you REALLY DO look like Rodney Dangerfield
12. That's all for you - end it