Nindigo Missing

Sad news from Jerk headquarters as staff pork chop Hesop Nindigo has been reported missing.

Nindigo, part of the famous Flying Nindigo Traveling All Stars & Pudding Samplers of the late-1980s, was last seen conversing with McQweese Lood in the 37th floor conference room. Lood, who wished to remain nameless until he realized everyone knew his name, declined comment. He later changed his name to Troy Trundle and re-wished to remain nameless.

Nindigo's parents, Zaul & Colasmell, started a search part for their son Friday afternoon and will continue the search until at least 6:30 p.m.

"That's when Murray Pauvis is on the television," said Zaul. "We don't miss Murray Pauvis, I don't care who has gone missing and allegedly been eaten by a crow."


It's been a difficult year at the Jerk as thousands of staff members and inanimate objects have gone missing. Here are the five most important, compiled by Poog Cronin Magazine For Kids:

5. Agnes Otto (June 6)
4. Packet of mustard (January 11)
3. Ronnie Puddlekick (July 9)
2. Sergei Korcheenov (February 6 & February 19)
1. Mosef Zubique (January 22)