Hey Jerk Plotka Fights: Rosen V. Albert

Hey Jerk Enterprises is proud to present a new running series here at the Jerk, entitled "Hey Jerk Plotka Fights For a Sun-Shiny Day."

The first order of business will be, of course, the Plotka fight.

Contenders

Marv Albert

Albert's Plotka is well known for its role in the romantic comedy "Me and My Toupee: A Love Story." It is believe that Marv's Plotka, Hank, also ran for mayor of Boise in the late 90's but ultimately bowed out due to allegations of mule racketeering.






Sam Rosen

Rosen's "piece," Fester, mysteriously starts 4 inches beyond the farthest reach of his forehead, prompting some experts to call it the "half-plotka." However, that doesn't take away from the fact that Rosen's hairpiece is undefeated in international bouts, an astonishing 1-0-0 (defeated Andy Reid's mustache in a 3rd round TKO.)




Round by Round Analysis of the Fight

Round 1: Albert's plotka Hank comes out with a vicious left hook, stunning Rosen's plotka, Fester, and knocking him immediately to the mat. At the count of seven, however, Fester rises to his feet. Fester reaches into his rear pocket and pulls out a Suave Premium Hair Spray bottle, spraying it directly at an unassuming Hank, who screams and immediately runs to the locker room for managerial assistance. Hank refuses a return, citing emotional stresses, and is disqualified at 1:13 of the first round.

Winner: Sam Rosen's Plotka (2-0-0)

Loser: Marv Albert's Plotka (0-1-0)

Stay tuned for more Plotka fights in the near future exclusively at The Jerk.