Tuesday Afternoon Mule Assassination Report

As has become standard operating protocol here at The Jerk, field reporter Oslo Quimm has breaking news that Pauly "Mule-Man" Picklesoda has struck again. Lil' Yarborough the Mule, best known in these parts for his groundbreaking role in "Once a Mule, Always a Donkey" (May, 1947) was found deceased and partially eaten on the corner of Main and 4th.

Prime Suspect Pauly Picklesoda

Picklesoda, who once infamously ran for Mayor of Salt Lake City but instead was incarcerated on Possession of Walrus Genitals with Intent to Distribute, was last seen at the BP station in Conyers, GA purchasing a burrito and a Red Bull energy drink. He is believed to be armed with a bow and arrow and is considered extremely dangerous. He travels with his pet mule, Travis.

If you have any information on the whereabouts of Pauly the Mule-Man, please contact HJPD immediately.

- Hogpenis Watson