Glenn, reciting from his tower perch high above HJ headquarters, shocked onlookers with his appearance. He had not been seen since late fiscal quarter two of 2011, and was believed to be dead. He stood, in all his glory, and spoke.
"We need a new face for this blog. We need a new man in charge of raincoats and raincoat related activities. In order for us to continue our dominance of the universe, we need to adapt. We need to change. To that end, I have personally hired Barney Martin as Staff Assistant to the Glenn. Please rise and hail Dr. Martin as he recites his 'Poem of Many Julios.' "
Martin
"Julio here, Julio there,
Julio wore Teddy's underwear.
He went for a stroll,
to a very dark place.
And ended up making all over Fred's face.
Julio ran, into the woods,
Fred started screaming as loud as he could.
'Why would you do this, I gave you my cow,
I guess none of that matters much now.
I shall have my revenge, Julio,
I shall de-fecalate,
And when I do find you,
You'll suffer a dark fate.
Julio Algonquin, Julio McGwire,
You'll meet your demise in a Fred-induced walnut fire.'"
With that, Martin left the room and Glenn followed.
Stay tuned.
- Staff Mort Seinfeld Rory Smunk
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