BREAKING: Ernie Ploop Found Deceased

Ernie Ploop, recently appointed Staff Mogul, was found deceased this morning under a toilet bowl in the 76th floor womens restroom. At the time he was found (by Staff Ear Martha MaGomb), Ploop was in the buff and his mustache had been removed and placed on the toilet seat.

Ploop (Dead)



Ernesto (Ernie) Ploop was beloved by his peers, and worshiped by his Uncle Frank.

Policeman Ong Sanchules was the first on the scene, and reported being shocked at what he found.

" When I arrived, I found Mr. Ploop completely nude on the floor of the stall, with his dinkus in his left hand and his mustache removed and placed on the toilet. There was a strong scent of fecal, and it appeared that Ploop had just had a bowel movement as there was toilet paper stretching from his rear end to the bottom of the toilet bowl."

A full investigation will ensue - stay tuned at the Jerk for updates as we receive them.

- Staff Murder Man Alfred Mungee