8:46 AM GST: In shocking news, an alien warcraft was spotted over HQ this morning beaming longtime associate Fido Didier into its hull.
Didier (Abducted)
Fido Didier was a longtime staff favorite amongst coworkers, known for his timely gas and his incessant blabbering. He also had an odd obsession with camel humps. While it is currently not known why the aliens felt a need to abduct Didier, many here at the staff are saying "good riddance" and hope that the aliens torture and then brutally murder Didier. Guess the man had worn out his welcome here anyway.
Godspeed, Fido.
- Staff Alien Correspondent Woody Chotchke
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