Fearing a backlash from the Xomcheese suspension, editor Oscar Rainbow, longtime enemy to the Xomcheese family and its cottage cheese agenda, has been placed in protective custody in the 7th floor janitorial closet. I will looking after Rainbow and teaching him to speak salamander, while also feeding him poisonous thumb tacks and playing him Bunk Wombat records.
Please do not attempt to search for or contact Rainbow as he will be glued to the furnace, as per request.
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