Blompton Makes a Move: Hires Cantaloap

Chuck Cantaloap, longtime enemy of the Jerk, has been hired on as Staff Honeydew by Robert Blompton. Blompton - Staff Hirer - has been idle for some time, but went ahead and made this move as soon as he heard the news that Cantaloap had been let go by rival blog MashedPotatoErnieStinks.Blogspot.Com.

Cantaloap


Cantaloap: " I used to be a fan of the Mashed Potato Ernie All-Stars, but recently I started hanging out with Ed Xomcheese and realized 'Hey, Mashed Potato Ernie's squad STINKS.' So I decided to get fired from my old position, and come over to the Jerk."

While it is not known what exactly Cantaloap will do as Staff Honeydew, it is believed he has already received sexual text messages from Bobby Feathers, who still resides in the 7th floor janitorial closet. The investigation into this probably wont go anywhere.

- Staff Correspondent Gillson Gongy