March 5, 2010

Pinecone About to be Vacuumed



The head of former staff president Ted Pinecone is about to be sucked into a vacuum, according to a carpet sweeper with knowledge of the situation.

It is not known at this time what happened to the rest of Pinecone's body, which was made entirely of frozen thousand island dressing.


- Staff Vacuum Cleaner Tragedy correspondent Settle Roundhead

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