Fonchonski Not Dead, Goes on Killing Spree, Gives Self Staff Position

Mrooble Fonchonski, recently reported eaten, is alive.

"Never was eaten," said Fonchonski, "so I decided to off some folks."

Staff Chef, Zirnbo 14; Staff Vlenstock, Arnie Vlenstock; and Staff PR Man's brother, Pint McCafferty, were all victims of Fonchonski's spree.

Vlenstock

McCafferty

Zirnbo 14

While his motive is still under investigation, preliminary reports suggest that Mrooble was sour with The Jerk for the recently mis-reported story of his death, and wanted revenge. He offed Zirnbo 14 to take his position as Staff Chef. The reasons behind Vlenstocks and McCaffertys slayings is unknown at this time, but Mrooble gave a hint. "They were ugly."

Fonchonski (New Staff Chef)


In unrelated news, Staff Hippo Man Squib Cotillion has regenerated.

- Staff Hippo Larry