BREAKING: GLENNS HIRE PEPANO CLAN, EXACT FIRST MEASURE OF REVENGE

In what is sure to start an interplanetary riot, the Glenn clan acted swiftly and defiantly to the murder of lone-remaining human Glenn, Mort, at his wedding yesterday.

It is believed that a contract between the Glenns and the Pepanos was finalized in the wee hours of the night, believed to be "Unending offings in exchange for 13 boston cremes." These reports have not been verified.

The swift retrobution certainly will send vibes through the entire Crugg nation.

CRUGG TREE (LATEST)

Click photo for larger view.

"I struck the Crugg HQ in the middle of the night," stated Vincenzo Pepano, "they never saw me coming. Ulysses made it out - but we have an idea where he is headed."

Ulysses Crugg, the lone surviving Crugg, was seen near a local port-a-potty, rambling about "The Return of the Cruggs." It is not known at this time what he meant by that.

Expect rioting to increase in the coming days due to the offing of nearly the entire Crugg clan. Hey Jerk will have the updates.

- Calvin Sanchules