Fired!

Staff writer Oscar Rainbow, Jr. has been temporarily fired (re-hired tomorrow morning at 7 AM) due to what staff management is calling "refusal to clean his elbows." Over recent weeks, Rainbow's elbows have become more and more noticeable. In fact, they have become so disgusting, that staff mailman Fob Quinkley, Jr. decided to abruptly resign his position citing "Elbows not consistent with a work environment believed to be of the level of "The Jerk"."

CEO and Staff Obstetrician Y.Q. Berkobaum had this to say about the events - " The kids a good writer, and a weird looking fellow - but he can't wash an elbow to save his life. Last week I saw a lobster growing on the guys left arm."
While Rainbow will rejoin the Jerk staff as of tomorrow morning, remaining employees insist that unless elbow hygiene becomes a larger factor in his daily routine, problems will persist.

"Kumquats could be thrown," young hippo Larry said, " and I won't feel the slightest bit of sorrow about it. The mans got to learn."

- Staff Correspondent F. Timmons