December 2, 2009
Flompus, QA - Local police detective Yancey McWalnut has been on the case since his first day on the force - June 25, 1817. He's never seen the black market hippo trade get anywhere near as dire as it is right now.
"Humans are being noodled over hippo barters gone awry. More than ever before," said McWalnut. "It's like the hippo demand in this town has shot up one thousand percent."
Asked to comment on the rumored South Yugoslavian Giraffe-for-Bulgarian Black Hippo trade thought to have gone down in the early hours of November 30, McWalnut had this to say:
"Got nothing to say about that. Check with Sergeant Shonsen Pepano. Maybe he's got something to say."
After approaching Sergeant Pepano, he had this to say:
"Did he say that?"
The Flompus Police Department seems to be all over the case. While they will most likely have the hightened hippo barter scene under control within days, they ask any civilian who may witness an illegal hippo or walrus deal to contact the proper authorities, or call Rory Fompolio.
- Hey Jerk freelance writer Elgin Jickson
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