Chico Lind Pooed On; Dead

Chico Lind, Staff Chico Lind, has been pooed on by Chuck Frozengard, and was announced dead at the scene this morning (on the moon.)

Lind (Dead)


Chico Lind played a pivotal role on the Hey Jerk Softball Squad, and will be sorely missed in the 14 hole. It is believed that Cecil Fielder, Staff Cecil Fielder, will take his spot on the squad.

Frozengard could not be reached for comment, but it is believed the assassination occurred due to Lind's supposed allegiance to the Rainbow camp.

- Beauregard Fimmons

Hey Jerk Softball Lineup Announced

Hey Jerk Pepanos
2010 squad

Manager

Oscar Rainbow



Career record: 14-83
Moment of shame: Ejected from April, 2008 game for home plate unearthing/theft.


Coaching staff

Capolo



1st-base coach/restroom attendant
Playing career: Hit .117 for Class M Qwekinger Diablos of Rivervalley League (1982)


Ed Xomcheese



Third-base coach
Playing career: Ate 11 hot dogs during seventh stretch of 2003 game against Oridea Technical Institute.


Buck Crugg-Fonchonski



Pitching coach
Pitching philosophy: "Throw soft and carry a lot of envelopes"


Starting lineup

1. Jose Lind, SS
2. Michael Ian Bower, 1B
3. Pal Fimply, 2B
4. Fat Neck Glenn, DH
5. Pauool Paulfield, LF
6. Nadine Wexley, RF
7. Chon Zavier, 3B
8. Settle Roundhead, CF
9. Trevor Travis, C

SP Chuck Frozengard


First game is scheduled for June 2 against fonchonski.blogspot.com at Queh Field

Lind/Braybush Enter Race in '10

Back from the dead, Braybush reconsiders his position, decides to run with Lind in '10.

"I'm back." said Braybush.




- Staff Correspondent Beauregard Fimmons

Jose Lind Hired as Staff Chico Lind