Zecko Hired

Claude Zecko
Staff Claude

Previous work experience: none
Military history: fought in the Many Zeckos War, wounded by sandpaper (January, 1962)
Favorite professional basketball player: Derrick "Moonshuffle" Nakeel
Family history: married an easter egg (April, 2001), divorced (June, 2001)

Favorite books:

1. "The Smells I Smell" by Boris Yumchee
2. "Famous Grass Clump Fights" Ed. Mick Standridge
3. "I'm OK, You Have an Odor Problem" by Deloris Leonard

Life goals: "eggplant-related" - Bernice McNicholson


Referral: Queh Employment Search Group, copyright 2011

Lundquist Finally Brought On Board

The suffering of an entire nation is finally over as Jerk management has announced the hiring of Verne Lundquist as Staff Lundquist. Verne, who recently starred in the off-broadway play Me and Verne Lundquist, was selected over hundreds of Lundquists, including Mitch Lundquist and Lundquist The Clown.

Verne will occupy office #210, which recently was the hideout for an army of killer sandpaper. (Source: Sandpaper Times)