Staff Segway Hired

Yimp Bogoba, another in a long line of Bogobas, has been hired on as Staff Segway.

Bogoba


"While I have no experience in Segwaying, I feel as if I can most likely offer some sort of benefit to this staff. I make eggs."

No one cared about the hiring as of 1 PM GST.

- James T.

New Bogoba Hired, Several Staff Members Screaming

Shitknuckle Bogoba, long known "terrorist of the north," has been hired on as Staff Computer.

Bogoba

Bogoba, who is long known to have alliances with the Rainbow family, plans on world domination.

"My role as Staff Computer is two-fold: First, I will compute things as if I were a computer. Second, I will use my computational skills to devise a plan for world domination - during my non-working hours, of course."

Several Staff members, including Brucklin Crugg, were seen screaming and sprinting around HQ upon the arrival of Shitknuckle. Crugg has since been proclaimed missing.

- Staff Correspondent James Testicalia

Second Bogoba Hired, Rumors of World Domination Begin

Juzten Bogoba, no relation to Venton Bogoba, was hired early this morning as Staff Dachsund.

Bogoba


Bogoba, formerly James Testicalia, will start immediately. Bogoba brings several years of experience with him to HJ, including 14 years as Staff Quilt at rival blog BogobaForever.Blogspot.Com.

"I'm taking on the role of Staff Dachsund with one foot in the air, and the other on the ground."

Juzten is known to carry around a small man that lives on his left eyeball (Gerry), and has a penchant for Great Danes.

- Staff Correspondent James Testicalia

First Bogoba Hired

Venton Bogoba, a member of the prominent Bogoba family, has been hired as staff waver. Bogoba will be responsible for waving at passing motorists, floral arrangements and new staff banister, Don Menkley.

The Bogoba File

Age: N/A
Family: pine cone (Dwayne), marble (Betsy), daughter (Pinecone)
Military history:

1984-1986: soldier in the War of Many Salads. Wounded by cabbage schrapnel and received honorable discharge in May, 1986.

1988: captain of the 7th infantry in Pinch War of '88. Had eleven pinches in Mexico City (June, 1988)

1996-2006: lieutenant in United States giant ear core. Fought in several conflicts, including the Battle to Maintain Paul Paulfield's Hairpiece and the Asparagus Misunderstandings of '03. Retired from military service in December, 2006.

Work experience:

1972-1975: Salesman at Hank's Bait & Tackle Shop. Fired, January, 1975 for improper use of a dip bait.
1976-1977: Agent for child star Casey Iris. Fired and briefly imprisoned in November, 1977 for theft of sneakers.
1979-1982: Revising resume
1983: Power forward for the Richburg Torpedos basketball team. Released in February, 1983 after contract dispute/alleged referee kidnapping.