Eugene "Hookah" Gonk Hired

Eugene Gonk, aka "Hookah" because of his love for everything jungle-related, has been hired on as new Staff Softball Manager.

Gonk

Gonk Bio

Name: Eugene Salvester Gonkinstein IV
DOB: 1-1-1944
Height: N/A
Weight: 4
Pants: yes
Partner: Eugene Fonk, MD
History: 2nd pick overall, 1945 MLB Draft, Cleveland Indians. Eaten by rabid mule, August, 1946. Re-animated September, 1955. Drafted 14th overall, 1955 MLB Draft, Cleveland Indians. Eaten by rhinoceros, November, 1956. Killed January, 1977. Elected President of the United States - 1990. Hobo - 1994-present




Gonk brings several years of coaching experience to the staff, with short stints as Alpharetta Meatballer's Co-Ed D manager and hot dog vendor - Ann Arbor, Michigan. He is faced with a roster that was ravaged by deaths last year, leaving only 3 players available:

P - Patt Zin
C- Kork Ashirminn
C - Skip Miso

The rest of the team was unfortunately either murdered, eaten, or transferred to our Australian affiliate.

Look for several roster announcements to be made in the coming days. The Hey Jerk Hyphenated Ballslingers are a proud franchise, and will accept nothing less than mediocrity.

- Beat Writer Chon Wheatley