Chet "Cheeto Man" Sanchez
Birth Name: Chester Randolph Sanchez, Jr.
DOB - 12/12/1846
Nickname(s) - "Cheeto Man," "The Pride of Yugoslavia," "Dirk"
College - Moscow Dental - 1967
Accomplishments - Once carved a live Ostrich. Can eat 7 Ritz crackers at once (Last: February, 1913). Dingleberries number in the thousands (stopped counting - 2007).
Comments: Wears signature light on forehead.
Nope Bradley
DOB - N\A, but age 44
Nickname(s) - "Humphead," "Six"
Accomplishments: Types 7 words per minute; owns four heads of lettuce.
Comments: Started the Great Bonham Dental School Fire: May, 1997.
Please submit your votes via the comment feature below. Hiring to be completed this evening.
- Larry, Jerk Correspondent\Hippo
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UPDATE - 4:45 p.m.
Total votes:
Chet Sanchez - 7
Nope Bradley - 6
Write-in:
Fat Neck Glenn - 2
Larry - 1
UPDATE - 8:55 p.m.
Sanchez: 14
Bradley: 9
Fat Neck Glenn: 5
Larry: 1
d. devito: 1
88 comments:
I like to throw a write-in vote for Larry, staff writer. But if I cant vote for him, Im with the Cheeto Man. That other guy looks like a martian.
Martians know how to extract molars, pal. I don't know why that would keep him from landing the gig. My vote is for Bradley.
Cheeto Man is a silly nickname. Plus, I don't know what 'carved a live ostrich' means. Yup on Nope.
jerk donts have dentals.
bradley couldna spurked a cavern if his windoms were a fanny base, and sanchez moth has none gumslippers.
trusting,
crazy shane
Martians are ugly. Go with Cheeto.
Nope Bradley did some work on a friend of mine, Farley Timmons. Suffice it to say, Mr. Timmons can no longer walk.
Stay safe - Chet's my man.
Nope isnt a name. Its the opposite of Yup.
Vote for "The pride of Yugoslavia" here.
I heard Nope uses plastic silverware on his patients.
Got to go with Sanchez.
this is Popponich's mother, Estelle. Vote for my son, he's a good boy.
Nope had nothing to do with my legs being gone. I sawed them off before I came in for my cleaning. Didn't need them.
Nope was a professional and he did excellent work and only charged me two cats and a pile of sneezed-on notebook paper.
Plus, his assistant, Dorothy, who may or may not have been a moose, gave me her phone number.
Nope gets my vote.
Nope smears poo on his patients elbows.
Sanchez\Jerk '09
My boys a good man. Once carried a blind midget 14 feet to safety of the walrus attacks.
Vote for Sanchez.
write-in vote: Fat Neck Glenn.
Listen here people - I'ma hunt yous down who voted for Sanchez and fling walnut goo atcha.
Attaboy.
Write in - Fat Neck Glenn.
Kids got sausage.
I had Mr. Sanchez in my Wisdom 101 class during the fall of 1965. If he wasn't sleeping and drooling on the desk, he was making inappropriate noises with his arm pit or flinging feces at some of our female students. His grades were good enough to pass, but on graduation day he came to the ceremony wearing nothing but a leotard. I wouldn't trust him with a can of diet soda, let alone a bur or dental mirror.
1 vote for Nope Bradley.
Nope was in my Flatulence 4000 level class his senior year of high school. Highest grade he received on an exam was a 37 (out of 100), and he frequently raised his hand just to say "Rhombus."
How he made it to being a dentist I will never know, but vote here for Sanchez.
my brother, Glenn, should get the gig. He not only pulls rotten teeth, he keeps them in a jar above the refrigerator.
1 write-in vote for Fat Neck Glenn
Nope gets my vote. I like his head humps A LOT.
Nope, Nope, Nope, Yulp!
one more write-in for Fat Neck Glenn. guy deserves it after what happened to him at the '08 Salad Olympics.
Sanchez. I weight 450 lobs so I count for 4 votes.
Who votes for a guy named NOPE?
Sanchez - Yup.
Gotta go with "Cheeto Man." Man likes Cheetos - cant go wrong. Plus Bradley looks like a hammer.
sanchezes couldn't cough on nope's jogging strap.
volts for nope.
sanchez
Here's why I'm voting for Nope Bradley: Sanchez did some work on my teeth back in aught-5. I went in there and asked him where I should sit. He said 'we stand here'. So for the next two hours I had to stand while he worked on my teeth. He was sitting on this giant stool, about 10 feet off the ground and he keeps saying things like 'well, that wasn't supposed to happen' and 'I wonder if I glued that back onto his gums, would he even notice?'
Then as I'm leaving his office, he has an armed guard escort me to my car.
write-in vote for d. devito
Fat Neck "Fimmy" Glenn
Lemme get 7 votes - Glenn.
That'll be 14 dollars.
salamander society for fat neck glenn!
"Yongo said...
Lemme get 7 votes - Glenn.
That'll be 14 dollars."
Looks like we've got ourselves some old-fashioned voter fraud. Fat Neck Glenn's candidacy is currently under investigation.
another write-in for d. devito
1 vote for Nope
One write-in vote for Randolph Hensley-Biddinger
No voting for yourself.
Hensley-biddinger disqualified.
Fat Neck Glenn - 7 votes APPROVED.
One write in for John Candy
Chet has my vote. Once dated my daughter (squirrel).
Nope has my vote. And my pastrami sandwich.
One write in - Fat Neck.
Two write ins - D. Devito
"Glenn is the guy for the job."
- Sally Chamberlain
One vote - Fat Neck Glenn
12 votes - Fat Neck Glenn
3 votes - D. Devito
I been to over 25 dentists!!! I say Sanchez\Foobel '09
Update - 9:20 p.m.
Fat Neck Glenn: 28
Chet Sanchez: 12
Nope Bradley: 11
d. devito: 7
John Candy: 1
Larry: 1
**Polls close at 10:30 p.m. EST**
Fat Neck Glenn in 2009
D.Devito - 14 votes (Arugula)
Larry - one vote
Nope Bradley - negative 7 votes
Glenn
Sanchez
Wally, you can't vote negative seven times for someone. I've alerted the proper authorities and they are en route to your apartment as we speak.
write-in for Stuart Fratkin
Fratkin died - can you vote for dead guys on this thing?
Write in - Rainbow
sanchez tried to fill my cavity with fudge.
i vote for Bradley
I vote for Sanchez. I dont know what Im doing.
Fat Neck Glenn should be this web site's dentist. I think he's earned it seeing as how he seems to be nothing more than an empty paper bag.
Bradley's campaign is crumbling. I can't get behind a guy that votes for his opponent.
Sanchez for hey jerk dentist
Devito all the way.
Vote for Bradley - I have a light attached to my forehead.
1 vote for bologna head dresses
Bradley
DF Nelson for governor
Sanchez. Guy can drive.
R.H. Biddinger - '09
Fat Neck Glenn
Guest vote from morris could seal the deal for Glenn.
Nelson
Sanchez - 12 votes
Nelson
Fat Neck Glenn has my vote. I just hope when he starts practicing dentistry again he realizes that it's a good idea to wear a shirt, pants and shoes, not just shoes.
Donkey Face Nelson - 83 votes
fat neck glenn's 83 votes for donkey face nelson will not be counted.
glenn
Why not? Cant I vote for a competitor?
Nelson - 5 votes
write-in for d. devito
Vote - Candy
I'm voting for my neighbor Roger's beard
Nelson - 7,263 votes
Anthony 569's vote will not be accepted - cannot vote for a beard.
when donkey face was starting out as a dentist in the early 90s, he didn't use a drill, just went at your teeth with a knife and fork.
I can't vote for man with that little regard for his patients. Plus, he has a huge head.
My vote goes to my goldfish, Marty
No voting more than once to help speed up the counting process. So any idiot voting 7,000 times will be ignored.
thats discrimination against our kind and our society.
Update - 10:09 p.m.
Fat Neck Glenn - 37
Chet Sanchez - 17
Nope Bradley - 14
d. devito - 9
John Candy - 2
Larry - 2
Donkey Face Nelson - 2
Stu Fratkin - 1
Fratkin vote didnt count - dead.
Nelson has at least 5 votes.
I demand a recount!!! Long Live Nelson!
final voting being tallied. Winner announced soon.
congrats to Fat Neck Glenn.
I wonder when is his first cleaning, or if this was just an elaborate hoax to get us to buy dishwashing detergent.
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