Frozengard Eats Staff Member

Chuck Frozengard, longtime loser and Staff Hobo, was spotted in the 47th floor ladies restroom eating an already deceased Sam Scoombie early this morning. While it is unknown why the hobo felt the need to assassinate and eat Mr. Scoombie, Frozengard did mention that he "liked his Scoombie's with spicy mustard."

Scoombie (Dead)


As of 10:19 AM GST this morning, Mr. Frozengard was still in the restroom finishing off Mr. Scoombie's left calf.

- J. Testicalia

Yumpo Endorses Cheddar

Reginald Yumpo of the world-famous Yumpo Potato Conglomerate has officially backed Quixton Cheddar in the upcoming 2022 election. Yumpo, a nose on top of a badly-disfigured torso, also endorsed spicy mustard as the "condiment of the future, today", according to a press release.


Yumpo