Staff editor Edward Xomcheese has reportedly gone missing, according to a guy sitting over there next to that other guy. Xomcheese was put on suspension for lettuce evasion for the entire month of June and when he returned an armadillo was growing in his hair. Though he did contribute to several breaking stories including Capolo Tinkled Himself Again (August 22, 2011) and News Story, Part 6 (September 8, 2011), Xomcheese went missing on several occasions in early October and Jerk officials feel the latest incident could signal the end of the 53-year old's tenure.
Xomcheese's lawyer, tractor, declined comment.
Showing posts with label armadillos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label armadillos. Show all posts
October 17, 2011
July 11, 2011
Bechtolds Arrive
Hey Jerk has announced the hiring of Plop Bechtold of the famous Wayneston Valley Bechtolds. Plop's role at the blog has not yet been defined, but the smart armadillos are on him succeeding Whiskers McElswick as Staff Marc Russo sympathizer.
Other Bechtolds are expected in the coming weeks, including Searcy Bechtold, the self-proclaimed 'King of the Bathroom Sink', and K'Wayzley Bechtold, No. 7 in your programs and No. 19 in Vin Delvecchio's duffel bag.
- Correspondent Lyle Sheetley
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