BREAKING: Xomcheese Found Deceased

In a shocking revelation, longtime editor and staff clown Edward Xomcheese, or "Eddie the Great," was found in a state of being dead this morning. He was located by Warren Hemfo, a passer by with knowledge of death and deathly states.

"He was dead." - Hemfo

Xomcheese was found nude under an apple tree behind HQ, half eaten and dead looking. An investigation took place, but no one cared so his body was left to rot.

"No one cares." - Investigator Cletus McFee

Xomcheese (DEAD)


The coroner has released the cause of death as "multiple war injuries sustained at the hand of a rabid water buffalo. Looks like Dr. Xomcheese went down fighting, but the buffalo was just too much."

Well, lets move on. To take his place will be former Staff Handyman, now Staff Editor, Cleveland Booby. Please join us in congratulating Mr. Booby next time you see the man in the restroom.

Booby (Staff Editor)


Booby, upon hearing of his promotion, shot to death passer by Yi-Yi Pu Fwen. He will no longer be available for fecal pummeling events.

- Staff Editor Cleveland Booby

HIRED: Scranton Booby

Scranton Booby, long lost and believed dead cousin of recently canned Cleveland Booby, has been brought on as Staff Urinal Translation Architect.

Booby



Booby, well known for his endeavors into Horse Mating phenomenons, is honored and delighted to be a part of our staff.

"Me like be staff."

Please join us in welcoming Mr. Booby to our homes.

- Booby man Cleveland Booby

No More Booby

Staff Handyman Cleveland X. Booby, one of the most hated staff members in Jerk history, has been fired, according to a waffle iron with waffles of the situation.

Booby, who finished an embarrassing 11th in the 1992 ear lobe election, was responsible for the murder of "more than 20 goldfish" (Qwerce Valley Times, May, 1997) and helped defeat longtime Jerk rival the Klinehorsts in the 2009 national Brussel Sprout Fight championship match.

Booby's family-a ketchup bottle named Sal and a photograph of a lawnmower-declined comment.

Finally, Staff Handyman Hired

After a year and a half of things breaking, cracking, leaking, and generally not working around blog HQ, Bob Blompton (Staff Hirer) made the important budget enhancements necessary for 2011 to bring on a Staff Handyman. Cleveland X. Booby, local Melvin Assassin and Janitor, has been stolen away from rival blog Rainbowhasskidmarks.blogspot.com, with an undisclosed financial agreement.

Booby


Booby, who specializes in urinal repairs, will also be responsible for weekly refrigerator cleanings, kiwi recruiting, and killing Emmit McKenna.

Please join us in welcoming Mr. Booby to our staff.

- Trent B.