Perry "William" Petunia passed away Wednesday morning of salad complications and resisting croutons, according to a restaurant menu with knowledge of the situation.
Petunia, a former defensive lineman for Oklahoma State and the leading activist for G.U.M.S! (Get Out From Under My Sink!), was dining at Cruggs on 19th Street in downtown Shouse when a dolphin swam over and swallowed him whole.
"It's how he always wanted to go," said the dolphin, 9.
A parade/carnival has been planned to celebrate the death/life of Petunia. The festivities will begin in May, 2017, 9:00 p.m. - ?.
7 comments:
You wont get away with this.
Oh, WE'LL GET AWAY WITH IT.
You didn't get away with it last time.
I think we DID, in fact, get away with it last time. Read your almanac.
I read my almanac. Chapter 6, paragraph 17, lie 12, word 7 - "fiduciary."
That's the wrong almanac. You have too many almanacs, that's your problem.
Please, enough about almanacs! It's tearing this family apart!
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