Herman Ballspeed, younger brother of staff Ballspeed, Ricky, has died of desk lamp overdose. The 53-year old former eyebrow model was having a lamp on his lunch break when he ate too much and passed away.
Thousands were saddened by Herman's death, but only these three people were available:
"I didn't like the man when he was Larry Benson, and I don't like him now."
- Vanessa Ballspeed, sister
"Who? Never heard of him."
- Dr. Emmit Pinndle
"If I told him Darren, I told him Wendell times: the lamp goes in cord first. But the kid played by his own rules. Unfortunately, this time the lamp won. So I guess the final score is Desk Lamp 1, Herman 0, Cheese Pile 7."
- Anonymous
Herman's funeral is scheduled for October 27, but in 2017.
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