Cheecho Q, whose been a staff correspondent since the early-1940s, "the marmalade years", is dead of ear lobe theft. An unknown assassin stole Cheecho's ears late Thursday night, leaving the 53-year old earless and frightened. Cheecho died several seconds later.
Funeral services were set for Saturday at 2:00 p.m., but were quickly cancelled due to lack of chili.
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