Blodnik hired

Wade Blodnik, believed to be the first banana man in earth's history, has been hired as Wade Supervisor.

Blodnik takes over for Wade Gedshore, who was fired late Friday for misidentifying a Corey as a Wade, and for eating an elephant while wearing a Denver Broncos helmet, which is a class 3 felony in the state of Oklahoma.

Blodnik will take over in storage space B, formerly occupied by ant, 33.

"He's been a contributing citizen for years, so, he deserves a shot at this," said Blodnik's linguine over-eaters anonymous sponsor Capolo Henderson Jr.

Blodnik's leg, Andjuar, declined comment.