Derr Returns, Named Staff President

Considered missing and therefore deceased for just north of 93 years, longtime Staff Idiot Footo Derr returned to HQ today.

Not surprisingly, his first order of business was to assassinate current (now former) Staff President Oscar Rainbow. 

Rainbow will remain on Derr's staff as Staff Q-Tip. 

"We got a lotta dirty ears around these parts!" - Staff President Footo Derr

Derr (President)

Derr Bio

Name: Footo Derr III

DOB: 1/1/1

Age: Unknown

Feet: One

Noses: Unknown

Partner: Crotcho Derr (Married 2004)

Children: 3; Asso, Butto, and Ballo

Likes: Tuna Fish on Rye, The Portland Trailblazers, Donkeys

Dislikes: Mules, Horses, The Cincinatti Bearcats, Ballo Derr

As President, Mr. Derr has closed off the entire 47th floor as "his office". 

"Anyone who attempts to enter the 47th floor will be killed on sight." - President Derr

Staff: please do not attempt to enter the 47th floor. 

Celebratory lime tosses can be thrown at Staff Peanut Winston Fu tonight outside HQ starting at 7 pm. Be sure to bring the kids along: 3 free tosses per child! (Adults: $14/toss)

UPDATE: Fu deceased after 4,957th lime pelting. Remains to remain on site. 

- Staff Correspondent Rocco Frompley