President Hu Commits Walrus Murder

Barry McWalrus, longtime HJ Fisherman and antelope hunter, has been murdered.

Hu (taken post murder)

Hu, who is believed to be a 14 handicap golfer, ate Barry in front of a stunned crowd at Sanchules Field earlier today. He stopped after gnawing off Barry's left leg, then after a brief delay continued until there was nothing left of Mr. McWalrus.

As has become Hu tradition, Mr. Hu then passed wind at the crowd, and screamed "Freedom!" at the top of his lungs. A small piece of the walrus's left hand was excreted during the wind passing, ending little Benny Frump's battle.

- Hu Correspondent Elephant Rainbow