Finnegan Found Hanging From Ceiling, Carted Away by Authorities

Staff Randy Johnson Niles Finnegan was found in his 144th floor office hanging from the ceiling today by Staff Hippo Tr'Von McCharles.

Finnegan

"He was just hanging there, speaking to himself about the economy in a low whisper and eating a bologna sandwich" said Mr. McCharles, who immediately alerted the authorities.

Finnegan was carted off against his will by O'Shoogie doctors, but did manage to remove his pants before the doctors were able to medicate him.

Finnegan is up for euthanization tomorrow at 7 AM.

- Staff Walnut Teddy Pinecone