BREAKING: HU ATTACK, HQ EVACUATED

John Hu has attacked.

Keeping with his word, Hu attacked HQ early this morning, killing just north of 400 innocent civilians (little Barry Foo Jr. lost his life in the struggle) and eating 14 walri during the "disaster."

Hu (Photo taken by Eli Bly earlier this morning)

As a result of this unprovoked attack, HQ has been evacuated until President Minkus can offer further direction. Stay tuned for updates on Hu and his reign of "Hu-dom."

- Staff Hu Man Warren Lump