A new era has begun at the Jerk as a Staff Wayne Tolleson has finally been hired. Warren Lump, who on more than one occasion has been mistaken for a giant piece of chewed bubblegum with neckarms, was hired Sunday afternoon. Lump, who arrived from the planet Mushroom with "homicidal thoughts" (Zellichtown Register, 9/27/11) recently found "God", a graham cracker underneath Boris Wilson's living room couch, and has devoted his life to peace and understanding. And taco shell ear muffs.
Lump also ate a mouse in 1988, which single-handily helped Norway to gold in the Olympic games. He is reportedly at odds with several staff members, including Charles Frozengard and staff editor Oscar Rainbow.
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