Ernie Valdez, wanderer/hobo from the planet Aschermann, was found deceased this morning on the doorstep of Hey Jerk Headquarters.
"I was the first one in this morning," said Mel Hogglesby, "and I stumbled upon Mr. Valdez when entering the pin code to the front door."
Valdez (Dead)
After further investigation, Hogglesby fessed up.
"Okay, my statement wasnt entirely accurate. I saw Valdez here, picking his coolie and sniffing it this morning. I immediately murdered him, for the sake of bologna. Thought the world would be a better place."
At this time, Hogglesby is in the confines of the police holding cell while the investigation continues.
Stay tuned for updates.
- Woody Chotchke
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