Pages

▼

February 4, 2015

Petunia perishes, parade planned (P.P.P.P.)

Perry "William" Petunia passed away Wednesday morning of salad complications and resisting croutons, according to a restaurant menu with knowledge of the situation.

Petunia, a former defensive lineman for Oklahoma State and the leading activist for G.U.M.S! (Get Out From Under My Sink!), was dining at Cruggs on 19th Street in downtown Shouse when a dolphin swam over and swallowed him whole.

"It's how he always wanted to go," said the dolphin, 9.


















A parade/carnival has been planned to celebrate the death/life of Petunia. The festivities will begin in May, 2017, 9:00 p.m. - ?.

7 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2015 at 2:24 PM

    You wont get away with this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2015 at 2:26 PM

    Oh, WE'LL GET AWAY WITH IT.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2015 at 2:28 PM

    You didn't get away with it last time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2015 at 2:30 PM

    I think we DID, in fact, get away with it last time. Read your almanac.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2015 at 2:31 PM

    I read my almanac. Chapter 6, paragraph 17, lie 12, word 7 - "fiduciary."

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2015 at 2:34 PM

    That's the wrong almanac. You have too many almanacs, that's your problem.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Worried WallyFebruary 19, 2015 at 3:05 AM

    Please, enough about almanacs! It's tearing this family apart!

    ReplyDelete