Chet "Cheeto Man" Sanchez
Birth Name: Chester Randolph Sanchez, Jr.
DOB - 12/12/1846
Nickname(s) - "Cheeto Man," "The Pride of Yugoslavia," "Dirk"
College - Moscow Dental - 1967
Accomplishments - Once carved a live Ostrich. Can eat 7 Ritz crackers at once (Last: February, 1913). Dingleberries number in the thousands (stopped counting - 2007).
Comments: Wears signature light on forehead.
Nope Bradley
DOB - N\A, but age 44
Nickname(s) - "Humphead," "Six"
Accomplishments: Types 7 words per minute; owns four heads of lettuce.
Comments: Started the Great Bonham Dental School Fire: May, 1997.
Please submit your votes via the comment feature below. Hiring to be completed this evening.
- Larry, Jerk Correspondent\Hippo
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UPDATE - 4:45 p.m.
Total votes:
Chet Sanchez - 7
Nope Bradley - 6
Write-in:
Fat Neck Glenn - 2
Larry - 1
UPDATE - 8:55 p.m.
Sanchez: 14
Bradley: 9
Fat Neck Glenn: 5
Larry: 1
d. devito: 1
I like to throw a write-in vote for Larry, staff writer. But if I cant vote for him, Im with the Cheeto Man. That other guy looks like a martian.
ReplyDeleteMartians know how to extract molars, pal. I don't know why that would keep him from landing the gig. My vote is for Bradley.
ReplyDeleteCheeto Man is a silly nickname. Plus, I don't know what 'carved a live ostrich' means. Yup on Nope.
ReplyDeletejerk donts have dentals.
ReplyDeletebradley couldna spurked a cavern if his windoms were a fanny base, and sanchez moth has none gumslippers.
trusting,
crazy shane
Martians are ugly. Go with Cheeto.
ReplyDeleteNope Bradley did some work on a friend of mine, Farley Timmons. Suffice it to say, Mr. Timmons can no longer walk.
ReplyDeleteStay safe - Chet's my man.
Nope isnt a name. Its the opposite of Yup.
ReplyDeleteVote for "The pride of Yugoslavia" here.
I heard Nope uses plastic silverware on his patients.
ReplyDeleteGot to go with Sanchez.
this is Popponich's mother, Estelle. Vote for my son, he's a good boy.
ReplyDeleteNope had nothing to do with my legs being gone. I sawed them off before I came in for my cleaning. Didn't need them.
ReplyDeleteNope was a professional and he did excellent work and only charged me two cats and a pile of sneezed-on notebook paper.
Plus, his assistant, Dorothy, who may or may not have been a moose, gave me her phone number.
Nope gets my vote.
Nope smears poo on his patients elbows.
ReplyDeleteSanchez\Jerk '09
My boys a good man. Once carried a blind midget 14 feet to safety of the walrus attacks.
ReplyDeleteVote for Sanchez.
write-in vote: Fat Neck Glenn.
ReplyDeleteListen here people - I'ma hunt yous down who voted for Sanchez and fling walnut goo atcha.
ReplyDeleteAttaboy.
Write in - Fat Neck Glenn.
ReplyDeleteKids got sausage.
I had Mr. Sanchez in my Wisdom 101 class during the fall of 1965. If he wasn't sleeping and drooling on the desk, he was making inappropriate noises with his arm pit or flinging feces at some of our female students. His grades were good enough to pass, but on graduation day he came to the ceremony wearing nothing but a leotard. I wouldn't trust him with a can of diet soda, let alone a bur or dental mirror.
ReplyDelete1 vote for Nope Bradley.
Nope was in my Flatulence 4000 level class his senior year of high school. Highest grade he received on an exam was a 37 (out of 100), and he frequently raised his hand just to say "Rhombus."
ReplyDeleteHow he made it to being a dentist I will never know, but vote here for Sanchez.
my brother, Glenn, should get the gig. He not only pulls rotten teeth, he keeps them in a jar above the refrigerator.
ReplyDelete1 write-in vote for Fat Neck Glenn
Nope gets my vote. I like his head humps A LOT.
ReplyDeleteNope, Nope, Nope, Yulp!
ReplyDeleteone more write-in for Fat Neck Glenn. guy deserves it after what happened to him at the '08 Salad Olympics.
ReplyDeleteSanchez. I weight 450 lobs so I count for 4 votes.
ReplyDeleteWho votes for a guy named NOPE?
ReplyDeleteSanchez - Yup.
Gotta go with "Cheeto Man." Man likes Cheetos - cant go wrong. Plus Bradley looks like a hammer.
ReplyDeletesanchezes couldn't cough on nope's jogging strap.
ReplyDeletevolts for nope.
sanchez
ReplyDeleteHere's why I'm voting for Nope Bradley: Sanchez did some work on my teeth back in aught-5. I went in there and asked him where I should sit. He said 'we stand here'. So for the next two hours I had to stand while he worked on my teeth. He was sitting on this giant stool, about 10 feet off the ground and he keeps saying things like 'well, that wasn't supposed to happen' and 'I wonder if I glued that back onto his gums, would he even notice?'
ReplyDeleteThen as I'm leaving his office, he has an armed guard escort me to my car.
write-in vote for d. devito
ReplyDeleteFat Neck "Fimmy" Glenn
ReplyDeleteLemme get 7 votes - Glenn.
ReplyDeleteThat'll be 14 dollars.
salamander society for fat neck glenn!
ReplyDelete"Yongo said...
ReplyDeleteLemme get 7 votes - Glenn.
That'll be 14 dollars."
Looks like we've got ourselves some old-fashioned voter fraud. Fat Neck Glenn's candidacy is currently under investigation.
another write-in for d. devito
ReplyDelete1 vote for Nope
ReplyDeleteOne write-in vote for Randolph Hensley-Biddinger
ReplyDeleteNo voting for yourself.
ReplyDeleteHensley-biddinger disqualified.
Fat Neck Glenn - 7 votes APPROVED.
One write in for John Candy
ReplyDeleteChet has my vote. Once dated my daughter (squirrel).
ReplyDeleteNope has my vote. And my pastrami sandwich.
ReplyDeleteOne write in - Fat Neck.
ReplyDeleteTwo write ins - D. Devito
"Glenn is the guy for the job."
ReplyDelete- Sally Chamberlain
One vote - Fat Neck Glenn
ReplyDelete12 votes - Fat Neck Glenn
3 votes - D. Devito
I been to over 25 dentists!!! I say Sanchez\Foobel '09
ReplyDeleteUpdate - 9:20 p.m.
ReplyDeleteFat Neck Glenn: 28
Chet Sanchez: 12
Nope Bradley: 11
d. devito: 7
John Candy: 1
Larry: 1
**Polls close at 10:30 p.m. EST**
Fat Neck Glenn in 2009
ReplyDeleteD.Devito - 14 votes (Arugula)
ReplyDeleteLarry - one vote
Nope Bradley - negative 7 votes
Glenn
ReplyDeleteSanchez
ReplyDeleteWally, you can't vote negative seven times for someone. I've alerted the proper authorities and they are en route to your apartment as we speak.
ReplyDeletewrite-in for Stuart Fratkin
ReplyDeleteFratkin died - can you vote for dead guys on this thing?
ReplyDeleteWrite in - Rainbow
ReplyDeletesanchez tried to fill my cavity with fudge.
ReplyDeletei vote for Bradley
I vote for Sanchez. I dont know what Im doing.
ReplyDeleteFat Neck Glenn should be this web site's dentist. I think he's earned it seeing as how he seems to be nothing more than an empty paper bag.
ReplyDeleteBradley's campaign is crumbling. I can't get behind a guy that votes for his opponent.
ReplyDeleteSanchez for hey jerk dentist
Devito all the way.
ReplyDeleteVote for Bradley - I have a light attached to my forehead.
ReplyDelete1 vote for bologna head dresses
ReplyDeleteBradley
ReplyDeleteDF Nelson for governor
ReplyDeleteSanchez. Guy can drive.
ReplyDeleteR.H. Biddinger - '09
ReplyDeleteFat Neck Glenn
ReplyDeleteGuest vote from morris could seal the deal for Glenn.
ReplyDeleteNelson
ReplyDeleteSanchez - 12 votes
ReplyDeleteNelson
ReplyDeleteFat Neck Glenn has my vote. I just hope when he starts practicing dentistry again he realizes that it's a good idea to wear a shirt, pants and shoes, not just shoes.
ReplyDeleteDonkey Face Nelson - 83 votes
ReplyDeletefat neck glenn's 83 votes for donkey face nelson will not be counted.
ReplyDeleteglenn
ReplyDeleteWhy not? Cant I vote for a competitor?
ReplyDeleteNelson - 5 votes
ReplyDeletewrite-in for d. devito
ReplyDeleteVote - Candy
ReplyDeleteI'm voting for my neighbor Roger's beard
ReplyDeleteNelson - 7,263 votes
ReplyDeleteAnthony 569's vote will not be accepted - cannot vote for a beard.
ReplyDeletewhen donkey face was starting out as a dentist in the early 90s, he didn't use a drill, just went at your teeth with a knife and fork.
ReplyDeleteI can't vote for man with that little regard for his patients. Plus, he has a huge head.
My vote goes to my goldfish, Marty
ReplyDeleteNo voting more than once to help speed up the counting process. So any idiot voting 7,000 times will be ignored.
ReplyDeletethats discrimination against our kind and our society.
ReplyDeleteUpdate - 10:09 p.m.
ReplyDeleteFat Neck Glenn - 37
Chet Sanchez - 17
Nope Bradley - 14
d. devito - 9
John Candy - 2
Larry - 2
Donkey Face Nelson - 2
Stu Fratkin - 1
Fratkin vote didnt count - dead.
ReplyDeleteNelson has at least 5 votes.
I demand a recount!!! Long Live Nelson!
ReplyDeletefinal voting being tallied. Winner announced soon.
ReplyDeletecongrats to Fat Neck Glenn.
ReplyDeleteI wonder when is his first cleaning, or if this was just an elaborate hoax to get us to buy dishwashing detergent.