Nixon Hired as New Staff President

 Richard "Rich" Nixon has been hired to change things. 

Nixon (Hired)

Nixon, formerly President of the United Mules of America, has a long list of credentials that qualify him for Staff President. 

"I offed Gorilla Rainbow!" - Nixon

As his first of many changes to come, Nixon has announced that all hot dog vendors at HQ have been fired pending an ongoing mustard investigation. 

"The mustard being used was suspected of being real mustard." - Nixon

Please join us in urinal 4 west wing south for the inauguration. 

- Staff Correspondent Wee-Wee Hole