Perton Plerp, former guard for the Indianapolis Colts, has been brought on to finally contain the goldfish infestation that has been hampering HQ over the past 177 years.
Plerp
Plerp, who once ate an opposing nose guard with a side of a '44 Zinfandel, has many, many, many, (MANY) years of experience corralling goldfish.
"I corral goldfish" - Perton Plerp
Plerp will take up residence under the desk of Staff Wart Man Oscar Rainbow, who was recently demoted to his new role from his former position as Staff Anal Inspector.
"To be honest, it isn't that pleasant under here" - Perton Plerp
Plerp has passed on. Please stop by Oscar Rainbow's cubicle to pay your respects.
Perton Plerp: 1922-2024
- Staff Lawyer and Correspondent Ernest Ploop
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