Staff Car Hired

Alberto "El Coche" Th'Car has been hired on as Staff Car.

Th'Car

Th'Car Bio

Name: Albertovitch Juan-Pablo Adam Terry Eduardo Th'Car

Nickname: "El Coche" , "Coolie Inspector" , "Ed" , "El Presidente" , "Layla Woo"

DOB: 1997

Make: Mazda 6 Series

Facial Hair: Mustache, sometimes shaven (August, 1988)

Spot Number: 216

Murders: Yes

Spouse: Cooliemobile, Married September 2008


Alberto joins us from his previous employer, Kroger, where he was responsible for all Mule related inquiries and Mule related meats. Prior to Kroger, Alberto was a fast food manager at Capolosmellslikeonions.blogspot.com. Prior to that, Alberto was a serial killer in Taiwan. Prior to that, Alberto was not alive.

Fun Fact: Alberto starred in the 1977 remake of "Has Anyone Located Abraham Lincoln's Left Shoe? For the Love of Christ!" alongside Winston Pock. The film lasted 3 days in theaters and was later declared "Worst Film Ever Made" by the New York Post.

Please join us in welcoming Mr. Th'Car to our staff.

- Staff Dead Moron Darren Durly