November 20, 2012

Haboote Vongavich report released

"Haboote Vongavich is a well-liked man."

- Anonymous

"Haboote will bring us into the new millennium the same way his father did: wearing a pastrami helmet and carrying Merle Feinstein's left leg."

- Anonymous

"Vongavich? Kid can grab a defensive rebound, I'll tell you that much. Without him, we don't beat P'Q'W'Shon Prep and take home the Carpet Sample Book in '87."

- "Coach" Hubert Barfield

"Vongavich is a hated individual."

- Capolo Henderson

"Over a 17-day span in the early-1990s, Haboote Vongavich was eaten by a small group of squirrels."

- Squirrel historian Natalie Kellog

"I haven't had any luck reaching him, so maybe your site can help me. This is a direct message to Haboote Vongavich: I need my left leg back."

- Merle Feinstein

"I told you a number of times to get off of my roof. I do not want to be interviewed."

- Rhonda Bly

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