Weng
Weng, formerly Staff Rhubarb at the rival establishment thebobbyclassifieds.com, will be immediately stationed in the 112th floor break room for employee enjoyment. A few notes essential to proper use of Mr. Weng:
- The "on" button is located on Dr. Weng's left rear cheek, near the polar-bear type shaped mark
- Never use the "on" button
- When you wish to view television, simply state the channel you would like to tune to and sing "God Bless America"
- If Dr. Weng does not respond, kick him repeatedly in his nether regions until he either complies or releases his makings on the floor
- Volume is an option, but is discouraged
- The television may or may not spew a phlegm like substance during usage - please ignore
- Dr. Weng will refuse to tune and any Spanish speaking channel (religious)
- RooHahHah prefers an everything bagel if requested to be used before 4 PM in the afternoon
- Wanted in case of 1988 Dom Chestnut serial murders
- Weng may shout obscenities or make rude gestures when called upon (Weng v. The State of Utah, March 1823)
- Weng will consider after hours usage for those working overtime, but normally requires "favors" in these cases
- Little Danny is no longer with us
While we should all be grateful to now have a television at HQ, leader Fat Neck Glenn has warned not to take this for granted. He has threatened to "remove Mr. Weng by force" should any employees not abide to the Weng Statutes or attempt to date Dr. Weng on an outside of work basis.
Welcome, RooHahHah Weng!
- Staff TV Man Travis Kung
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