Hired: Walt Downspeed

Walter "Leftovers" Downspeed has been "brought on" by editor Capolo Underwear-Henderson as Staff Telephone.

Downspeed

Downspeed has had several paying jobs in the past, most recently working as a fecal investigator in rural Montana. While is is known for his brains, Downspeed considers himself quite the scholar.

"I'm smarter than Chuck Frozengard."

Downspeed Bio

Name: Walter Wookockomo Downspeed, Sr.
DOB: ?-19-??
Weight: 4
Height: 1' 9"
Pants: no
Spouse: Chuck Frozengard
Comments: Once ate a rhinoceros whole to win a bet; his dinkus is larger than his legs

As Staff Telephone, Downspeed will immediately take all responsibility for Larry recruitment, as well as fornication duties with Chuck Frozengard. He will be seated in cubicle 14c on the 12th floor and is also available for beatings. Sign up sheet in the break room on 5.

NOTE: Please sign up for no more than 1 beating per day.

- Staff Frozengard Albert Wenk