Recently committed Oscar Rainbow was surprisingly still on the board at 17, and the Bison were quick to choose him in the 2012 HJBD yesterday.
Rainbow
The Bison have had a need for a steady presence at the 4 spot since Ru-Ru McDoogle lost his underwear in late August of 2009. They believe that Rainbow can "contribute immediately, and pull down 1-2 boards a month for our squadron," according to GM Hydro Foofane-Winston. "We will depend on Mr. Rainbow to not only pull down a board, but to contribute 35-40 points a night in Coach Keady's famed seven-walrus offense."
Rainbow Bio
Name: Oscarowitz Lucas Rainbow III
DOB: Unknown
Height: 4'9"
Weight: 276 lbs
Left Foot: No
Country of Origin: Mars
College: Johannesburg Institute of Pig Tendon Removal. Played the 1 for Coach Henry Hooheh and was elected to office in March, 1988
Comments: Prides himself on work ethic, armpit hair. Believes in "one almighty governor of the Earth - Chet Binkley." Once ate a mule after losing a bet with Harold Hooheh. Famously quoted as remarking "Lettuce isn't the enemy here, lettuce saves lives."
While signability may be an issue, the Bison are well below the cap for the 2012 season and will be able to offer Mr. Rainbow a substantial multi-year gary, should he accept.
Rainbow's number 23 jerseys are now for sale for $300. Please email oscarrainbow@gmail.com for more information.
- Staff Idiot Oscar Rainbow
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